


Feels like heaven

by fictionallemons



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Assumptions, Benji is gay, Blow Jobs, Brief Mentions Of Past Relationships, Cinammon rolls, Coming Out, Dirty Talk, Discussions of topping, Ethan is Bi, Glasses, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Lube, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Sexuality, Soft Benji, Soft Ethan, everyone is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 18:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17430899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionallemons/pseuds/fictionallemons
Summary: Ethan and Benji have some time to themselves, but it turns out they need to actually communicate instead of just make out.





	Feels like heaven

**Author's Note:**

> [ This work has been translated into Chinese](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17979842) by [ Dessert](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dessert/pseuds/dessert)

They’d been able to snag thirty-six hours off-grid on a Caribbean island so small they’d had to charter their own boat to get there. The first thing they’d done when they located the isolated rental house twenty yards from the Morpho butterfly blue water was drop their bags, tear off their sunglasses, and make out for about an hour.

Ethan never tired of kissing Benji. There was something about quieting his mouth, so often busy with a quip or a complaint, feeling it soften and yield, that gave Ethan a sense of contentment. Of peace.

Of course, he loved listening to Benji talk, too. He loved his wit and technical brilliance, his sense of humor, which veered from dark to corny at a moment’s notice. But he loved tuning in only to Benji’s body. He listened to muffled groans of pleasure, the scrape of stubble, the inadvertent clack of teeth when they got their angle wrong. He listened to Benji’s breath, pleasantly fast. To his heartbeat, reassuringly steady.

He listened to the rustle of clothes as they stepped out of most of them and moved from where they’d barely gotten through the front door to the bedroom, with its big bed and bigger view. Sea and sand and not much else. Ethan didn’t care about the view. Everything he wanted was in this room with him.

The bed was soft and Ethan thought that if he could keep Benji here for most of the next day and half, he’d be a happy man. Ethan kissed him again, his tongue meeting Benji’s now familiar one. They’d only started doing this a little while ago, but it felt like they’d been together forever, like this. 

Ethan didn’t quite know why they hadn’t been.

One day he’d passed out after a bit of blood loss—don’t ask—and when he’d come to, Benji had been right there, his eyes full of something that looked suspiciously like tears, though that could have been Ethan’s rather blurry vision. Benji already had a field bandage over the wound and was pressing hard. It had been easy to lean forward and seal his lips against Benji’s worried ones. He’d wanted to make his friend feel better. Benji shouldn’t worry so much.

The kiss was over too soon, something about the extraction point and deadlines, but as soon as the mission was over, Ethan had found Benji and kissed him again, like he meant it, so there couldn’t be any doubt. And Benji had kissed him back. Then they’d smiled and laughed a little, and been sent to South Africa. One night when they had some down time, they’d gone from kissing to hand jobs, slow and perfect. 

Ethan had made a rule after that—no sex on missions—because he found that when he and Benji were together he literally could not care if the world was falling apart around their heads. It was overwhelming to be with someone he cared about as much as Benji. And to have Benji’s body, strong and beautiful, right there—could you blame him for being distracted from saving the world?

So it had been a while before they’d found the time to go further. But eventually, they’d begun to explore with their mouths, Ethan getting easily the best blow job of his life from Benji, who seemed to know exactly how much pressure, exactly how fast, exactly how deep would make Ethan’s toes curl. But something, some crises at headquarters, had prevented Ethan from returning the favor.

His mouth had been watering over the chance to taste Benji’s cock for days, and now, here on this island where no one could contact them and they could contact no one, he was finally going to get the chance.

But once they reached the bedroom, Benji scooted down the bed, reaching for Ethan’s boxer briefs, his mouth on Ethan’s tip before Ethan had time to register what was happening. Ethan sighed at the sight of Benji, still wearing his sexy as hell glasses, looking up at him while his sucked on the head of Ethan’s cock. His heart and his brain and his body were all on overload, needing so much, wanting to so much, and loving so much he could barely process it all.

“Hey, Benj,” Ethan groaned. “Come on, that’s not fair.”

Benji just sucked harder, but Ethan pushed at his shoulders until the other man pulled fully off. “What is it?” Benji asked. His voice held a thread of something. Nervousness?

“That’s not what I want, right now,” Ethan said. He longed to have his mouth on Benji, to give him as much pleasure as he’d given Ethan. But Benji nodded stiffly, and then got off the bed and disappeared into the front room. Which was so not the way Ethan had wanted things to go. He frowned. “Benji?”

The other man returned a minute later, holding a dop kit at his side. Ethan’s brow cleared. Oh. Benji wanted to use a condom. Fair enough, though they’d both had enough medical screenings over the last year that they knew they were clean. But Ethan didn’t care one way or the other. He just wanted to make Benji feel as amazing as he felt when he was around the tech genius field agent. 

Benji indeed pulled out a strip of condoms, and a bottle of lube. He lay back on the bed. The room was warm and he wore nothing but light blue boxers. And his glasses.

“Fuck. You are gorgeous,” Ethan said.

Benji’s cheeks turned pink. Ethan watched as he shucked the boxers, opened the lube, spread his legs, and started fingering himself.

Ethan felt his eyebrows rise and his cock twitch at the sight. Okay, he hadn’t been expecting that. And he might have been able to go with it, except that Benji’s expression was something closer to stressed, rather than turned on. “What are you doing, Benji?” Ethan asked softly.

“I’m getting ready,” Benji said, a little breathless. But Ethan didn’t think in a good way.

“For what?”

“For what you want.”

Ethan felt his stomach churn and his erection lose steam. “What do you mean? What do you think I want?”

Benji stilled, and his cheeks flushed again, but this time Ethan thought maybe more with shame than with pleasure. He crossed his arms across his chest protectively and Ethan noted he was barely hard. Something had gone wrong and Ethan desperately wanted to fix it. He scooted closer, but not touching Benji, just letting him feel his presence, a few inches away, warm and solid.

“Benji, talk to me,” Ethan whispered.

“I thought—you went to all this trouble, finding this place, getting us the time off, I thought you wanted, um, to fuck me.” Benji sounded like he was trying to be casual, but it wasn’t working.

“I want to be with you,” Ethan said. “That’s all. We can do whatever you want or not.”

“But you said you didn’t want me to blow you, so I figured—” Benji made an inscrutable face. “I mean, you’re obviously a top, and I don’t even know if you’ve ever been with another man, and it makes sense you’d want to be the one, um, doing the penetrating, um, so—” Benji’s face was completely red and he’d brought up his knees and wrapped his arms around them defensively.

“Hey, hey, slow down.” Ethan felt that somewhere between that first hazy kiss and this bedroom in paradise, he’d gotten something very wrong. Maybe they should have spent less time kissing and more time talking. “Benji—first of all, please tell me that you know I’d never want to do anything with you that you don’t want to do. Right? You know me.”

Benji looked at him. Started to nod, then it turned into a shake. “I thought I knew you, Ethan. But then you kissed me and suddenly it felt like I didn’t know anything at all.”

“What does that mean?”

“What would you do if someone you thought was completely untouchable suddenly kissed you? Your straight boss-slash-best-friend?”

“Are you saying you didn’t want to kiss me?” Ethan said, his skin suddenly cold despite the warmth of the room.

“No, I’m saying I never thought you’d want to kiss me back.”

“Well, I do.”

“Evidently.”

The stared at each other and Ethan took a deep breath.

“I’m not straight,” he said. 

“Okay.”

“I’m bi.”

“Oh.” Benji seemed to relax a little. “I think you know I’m gay.”

“We’ve never talked about it, but I remember you talking about your ex that one time—Jeffrey?”

“Jeremy.”

“Right.” As Ethan remembered, Jeremy hadn’t understood why a software developer sometimes had to go on lengthy spur-of-the-moment business trips. Their relationship hadn’t lasted long once Benji had become a field agent.

“I’ve been with other men,” Ethan said, because it seemed to be important to Benji. “And before, when I said I didn’t want you—your mouth—it’s because I’ve been dreaming about getting my mouth on you for forever and I was impatient. I’m sorry I made you think—if I made you uncomfortable. I’m not—relationships aren’t my strength. And when I’m around you, I’m not always thinking straight.”

“Well, I should hope not,” Benji said, mock affronted. And then he smiled. Ethan smiled at the weak joke. But it meant that maybe they could manage to communicate and be together and not fuck everything up and that was a good thing.

“You know what I mean—think clearly,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“I know what you meant,” Benji said. His shoulders had lost their stiffness and Ethan moved his hand to one, started stroking the side of his neck, the curve of his shoulder. Benji leaned toward him like a plant toward light. 

They kissed, slow and careful, then deeper. Ethan experienced a wave of vertigo and pulled away, shuddering out a breath. “Jesus, Benji, you don’t know what you do to me. I want everything. I want you to know how much I—I mean, you know I’m completely in love with you, right?”

Benji’s eyes grew round and he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. Nothing came out.

“Are you okay? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you literally speechless before,” Ethan said, half smiling, half terrified.

“You’re in love with me?” Benji said, as if Ethan had just said he was secretly a spy for China.

“I love you, Benji. I’m a complete idiot for not telling you sooner. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Benji said slowly. “I’m just trying to figure out if I actually died on the last mission and I’m in some unbelievable version of heaven, where the guy I’ve been in love with for years tells me he loves me, too, on a tropical island with the beach right outside our window and giant fluffy bed. It just doesn’t seem real.”

Ethan let out a relieved breath. Benji loved him, too. “This feels like heaven because we’ve earned a little piece of it on earth, I think,” Ethan said. Benji kissed him then, and the vertigo went away because they were on the same wavelength at last, in love, in lust, the minutes ticking away until their island escape ended. 

Ethan kissed his way down Benji’s chest, intent on his stated goal. Once he had an objective in mind, nothing could stop him from achieving it, and right now he wanted to give Benjamin Dunn the best head of his entire life. He hovered over Benji’s ginger brown curls, over his cock, hard again and curving up toward his belly. “I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time.”

“Well, get on with it then,” Benji said, but the demand was tempered by the desperation in his voice.

“And for the record, I’m not exactly a top,” Ethan said. “I’m happy to do whatever, but I just want you to know that while I’m sucking your cock, I’m going to be thinking about you filling me with it, stretching me with it, fucking me with it. Okay?”

Benji let out a strangled sound and his cock leapt toward Ethan’s mouth of its own volition. “Fuck, Ethan, I’m not going to last with that image seared into my brain.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel very, very good,” Ethan promised.

Benji’s cock tasted like Benji—warm, like freshly baked bread and home. Ethan felt the weight of him on his tongue, explored the slit, the ridges and veins, the slide of foreskin. His own cock filled, wanting to rut against the bed as he took care of Benji, but holding off, needing to focus. He got his hands in the action, cupping Benji’s balls, lightly tugging them when that made Benji yelp and buck into Ethan’s mouth. He stroking his perineum lightly, encouraged when Benji spread his legs a little more, allowing Ethan more access. 

His mouth was full of Benji, his hands trying to stay steady and sure instead of shake with the enormity of his love for the man he was touching. He took a little more of Benji into his mouth, risked a glance up at Benji’s face and almost came on the spot. Benji’s eyes were closed, his mouth open. He looked positively debauched, rosy and beautiful, panting and seeming to tremble with the effort it was taking not to buck up into Ethan’s mouth. 

Ethan slowly slid off with a slick pop, said, “I want you to move, Benji. You can’t hurt me.” And then he opened his mouth and took Benji all the way to the root. Benji gasped and thrust, pushing a little further into Ethan’s throat. Ethan breathed carefully, letting Benji control the pace of the thrusts, letting him fuck his mouth, so turned on he was afraid he was going to come untouched before Benji let himself tumble over the edge. 

He smelled Benji, he tasted him, he felt him, he heard his groan and then every sensation doubled in intensity as Benji’s come, hot and salty, hit the back of Ethan’s throat. He swallowed around Benji’s cock, breathing heavily through his nose, until Benji was spent. 

Slowly, he slipped out of Ethan’s mouth, and Ethan rolled onto his back. He’d never been so hard in his life, but he was breathless like he’d just run a mile over rooftops, too overwhelmed to even reach for himself. Suddenly, Benji moved, his tongue spearing into Ethan’s mouth, his hand wrapping around Ethan’s painfully hard erection. He licked Ethan’s mouth, as if chasing the taste of himself, and it took a half dozen strokes before Ethan’s vision whited out and Benji’s hand was coated with Ethan’s release.

They lay there, sticky and sweaty, kissing lazily for a short eternity. 

“Ethan?”

“Yeah, Benji?”

“I think you’re wrong.”

“About what?”

“Relationships are your strength. You’ve been my rock for ages, not just since we started up like this. You’ve always had my back. You’ve always had my love. You’ll always have it. No matter what.”

Ethan kissed his friend. Lover. Boyfriend? Partner. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong. And nothing feels more right than being with you.”

“In this little piece of heaven.”

“Anywhere with you is heaven to me.”

Benji giggled. “You are just the gooiest marshmallow wrapped up in six pack abs and perfect hair. Come on, I’ll race you to the water.”

And before Ethan knew it, Benji was up and heading for the door. Ethan laughed and hauled himself up slowly. He could afford to let the man he loved have a head start.


End file.
